tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55167621411703699732024-03-25T16:20:28.628-07:00Might As Well Be Here NowMichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-54121591643171402682023-12-30T07:25:00.000-08:002024-01-15T14:00:48.544-08:00An Atheist’s Anathema <br /><div><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Jesus</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Buddha, too</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Lord Krishna </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Lao Tzu</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in the Bible </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in the Koran</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I’d believe in the Upanishads</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">If I could ever understand </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Confucius</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Shinto </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I even believe in the preachers who rant on the radio</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Jehovah</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But please accept my apology </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Cause I can’t make myself believe in Scientology </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe most religions sense the same reality </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">That all of us are so much more than any of us can see.</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Jesus </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Buddha too</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Lord Krishna </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I believe in Lao Tzu</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">They all seem to know and share a similar intuition.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">You gotta look deep inside to resolve the human condition</span></p></div>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-38486785633820916222022-04-24T06:56:00.000-07:002023-06-28T15:16:59.716-07:00My Cousin R.I.'s Nose<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDiewd09ifJyhBCpLl_R9np9ztnCpLJfgztDe3WIhultsIVFHywsQMrDtQKZdhaqWVftGULV0sZ8UfB4LbMkQYofRU5WUzmG5e98XBPJzpHdWhlZYi01R1gCClSSFBZYG0lzVGX-5ZA0t9/s1600-h/richard's_nose__2_%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 163px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDiewd09ifJyhBCpLl_R9np9ztnCpLJfgztDe3WIhultsIVFHywsQMrDtQKZdhaqWVftGULV0sZ8UfB4LbMkQYofRU5WUzmG5e98XBPJzpHdWhlZYi01R1gCClSSFBZYG0lzVGX-5ZA0t9/s200/richard's_nose__2_%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300868685484299154" /></a>
R.I.* and I were very close friends when we were children. Many decades have passed but, a glimmer of that childhood connection remains. We occasionally see each other on holidays or at other family gatherings. We usually talk about basketball teams. Once or twice over the past forty years we have talked a little about his ongoing struggle with alcohol.
Not long along I heard that R.I. had a life-threatening emergency that involved an uncontrollable nose bleed. I called him on the phone to find out what happened. The circumstance was not funny but, his unique way of telling the story was certainly funny to me.
After a couple of basketball comments I said, "So. R.I., how's your nose?" He offered the following detailed response which I have attempted to capture verbatim.
WARNING: If you are offended by profane language, stop reading this now (and by all means avoid my cousin R.I.).
<blockquote><p>You won’t believe this shit but my goddam nose started bleedin' like a water faucet so my wife had to drive my ass to the emergency room. When I got to the hospital they stuffed my fuckin’ nose with a bunch of gauze shit. I mean they must a stuffed three yards of that shit up my muther fuckin' nose - both fuckin' nostrils.
So I had to lay there with this shit stuffed up my nose for 24 hours before they came back to take it out. But when they took it out, they didn't take it out of my muther fuckin' nose. The bastards pulled it out my muther fuckin' mouth. They stuck some metal thing in my mouth and then they pulled this nasty three yards of shit through my muther fuckin' mouth. I thought I was gonna puke.
So at that point, I thought at least the assholes had fixed my muther fuckin' nose bleed and I was gettin' ready to go home. Then what the fuck! My muther fuckin' nose starts bleedin' like a faucet, again. This time the doctors stuff it up with another three yards of that shitty gauze but, then they tell me that they are gonna need to fix my goddam nose surgically.
So then I just wait in this boring ass hospital bed for three or four days while these dumb muther fuckers try to figure out what the fuck they're doin’ and how they can make the most money doin’ it.
Finally, a doctor comes in and says, "Sir, we're gonna have to cut an incision across your face, around your eye brow, and down the side of your head. It will leave a significant scar."
I said, "Fuck! I don't give a shit about a muther fuckin' scar but, I want to know what time are you gonna operate ‘cause I have been lyin’ here for days goin’ crazy. You people have just been makin' me wait around like my time don't make any fuckin' difference. Well, time does matter to me so I wanna know what time are you gonna operate?"
So the fuckin’ doctor says, "Sir, we will schedule the surgery for tomorrow."
I said, "What fuckin' time tomorrow?"
The doctor says, "In the afternoon."
I say, "What's 'afternoon' mean to you because to me it's between 12:00 PM and 5:00 PM."
The asshole says, "Yes, that sounds about right."
I said, "I want you to tell me what fuckin’ HOUR you’re gonna operate and if you don't come within one HOUR of that time I'm gonna walk my ass right out of here."
The asshole doctor says, "I'm sorry but, if you leave, Sir, your insurance won't pay for any of this."
At that point I just stared at that muther fucker and said, "I sure as hell hope you don't think I'm gonna pay for any of this shit." So finally the muther fucker agrees to show up on time.
I went outside to smoke a cigarette and think about whether I was gonna have this fuckin’ surgery or not. I decided I didn't really have any muther fuckin' choice. So they operated.
They cut this big ass incision on my face and then moved my muther fuckin' eyeball over to one side so they could stick some big ass prong inside my muther fuckin' head to seal off the vein that was bleedin'. But they could only seal off one end of a vein that was bleedin' and couldn't reach the other end. </p><p>So they had to cut a muther fuckin' hole in my groin and stick some wire all the way up into my muther fuckin' head to seal off the other end of the vein. I still can’t believe it but, the goddamn thing worked.
I don't know why they had to cut a new hole in my groin right next to my asshole which they could've used. After the whole thing was over I kept wishin’ that the muther fuckin' doctor had to stick the wire up his own fuckin' groin to get it into my head.
</p></blockquote>
To my knowledge, R.I. has not had another nose bleed since the surgery. I may send him three or four yards of gauze just in case.
<em>*Lots of people in my family, besides R.I., use initials rather than complete names. We have had A.W, J.O., J.J., J.D., and O.D. (No, O.D. did not die from an Over Dose.)</em>
<blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-10434693186432351482021-05-15T08:43:00.005-07:002022-01-03T05:47:38.577-08:00Time Really Is an Ally<p><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The day before the Presidential election in November I wrote a conciliatory message to my friends and family who support Trump. However, following the riots on January 6, 2021 I no longer felt so magnanimous about Trump supporters so I deleted the message.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;">______________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Right now, it appears that most of us have survived the pandemic. All of the people close to me are vaccinated except grandson, Finn who is still too young to be eligible for the vaccine. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The speed with which this vaccination process has occurred is further evidence that time really is an ally. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">However, about this time last year I made some grandiose predictions about what we might learn from the pandemic. I thought we might gain a greater awareness of how interconnected all of us are on planet Earth. I thought we might learn how to transcend cultural barriers that impede the kind of collaboration that is necessary to solve global threats to our existence. I thought individuals and governments around the world might be inspired to work together in mutual self-interest. I was wrong about almost all of that. Instead of transcending cultural barriers we have continued to reinforce some of the worst examples. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Yet, time remains an ally and the pandemic has inspired some brilliant glimmers of the upside of human nature. The most significant example is the collaboration of governments and Big Pharma to create, test, approve, and distribute vaccines that give us more time to self-correct before the next challenge to our evolution. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Time by The Chamber Brothers</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsBwBct0_5U</span></p>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-23023865969080470232020-10-07T14:45:00.005-07:002020-10-14T04:17:03.976-07:00In Gratitude to Nicholas Hobbs<p><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;">In 1977, I accepted a job at Central Kentucky Re-ED, a residential school for children with serious behavioral disorders. The school was located on the campus of a state psychiatric hospital in Lexington, Kentucky. Working there was a great experience, in part, because I was introduced to the Re-ED model - an innovative approach for working with children and families. A few years later I accepted a job at Wright School in Durham which is another residential school for children that is based on the same Re-ED model.</span></p><span style="font-size: medium;"><style class="WebKit-mso-list-quirks-style">
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</style></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Re-ED model was created by Nick Hobbs in the late sixties. Nick was a psychologist and very wise person at Vanderbilt University. His model for working with children was based on 12 principles. </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;">I am now old and retired but those 12 Re-ED principles are more relevant to me now than ever. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Twelve Re-ED Principles<o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">The italicized comments are mine and should not be blamed on Nick Hobbs.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Life is to be lived now. <o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-size: medium;"><i>I think Nick Hobbs thought children should not be required to drag the baggage of past negative behavior with them into the present. What a profound idea! <br />I have found this principle extraordinarily important as a life-long reminder to (in the words of Ram Dass) …Be Here Now.<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Trust is Essential<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>Nick Hobbs thought trust is essential to the relationship between teachers and students. I have since learned that it is essential to all authentic relationships at every stage of life.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Competence Makes a Difference<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>Re-ED schools focused on teaching new skills and behaviors instead of waiting for therapeutic insight that might never arrive. I think most of us now realize that <b>competence breeds confidence</b> and it is key to anyone’s success. <o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Time is an Ally<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>Hobbs realized that many problems will find a solution or they will just pass away over time. This principle has been extremely important to me over the course of my entire adult life. I particularly appreciate remembering that <b>Time is an Ally</b> in the midst of chaos that is 2020.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i> </i></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Self-Control Can be Taught<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>In the 1960’s this was a radical idea in the treatment of children with behavior disorders. In 2020, we must hope that it is still true and relevant for elected leaders, stressed-out police officers, rioters, and all others acting out in the public square.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i> </i></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>6.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Intelligence can be Taught<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>It is hard to believe that professional educators would have doubted this in the sixties. In Re-ED schools children learn “problem-solving skills” and those skills contribute to intelligence. Don’t you wish that these skills were taught to people today who spend time on the internet embracing their lack of problem-solving skills while ridiculing the intelligence of others?<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>7.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Feelings Should be Nurtured.<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>This principle is well-understood in schools for children with behavior disorders. It is much less understood by most adult men in our culture.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>8.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>The Group is Important<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>In Re-ED schools, kids live and work in small groups of six or eight. They learn from each other how the behavior of an individual can have impact on the group and vice versa. They learn how valuable and powerful it is to feel connected to a group of peers who are working toward common goals. Today there are some who would likely think this principle promotes socialism. Maybe it does. I hope so.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>9.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Ceremony and Ritual Give Order and Predictability<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>Kids respond well to ceremony and ritual. In 2020, I yearn for the some of the ceremony and ritual that we used to associate with long-standing, respected institutions. I miss the prospect of holiday celebrations, spectator sports, non-violent election days, inauguration days, etc.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>10.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>The Body is the Armature of the Self<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>I think Nick Hobbs realized that mind and body are interconnected and function as one unit. Even now, we remain unlikely to improve one without the other.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>11.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Communities are Important<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>The Re-ED model was sometimes called an ecological model. It recognized that children live and interact within a context of a community. That community could alter the behavior of a child and the child could alter the behavior of the community. They were, just like we are now, interconnected.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b>12.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>A Child Should Know Joy Each Day.<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>This was another radical idea in the treatment of kids whose young lives had already included so much pain. But it was a beautiful aspiration of teacher-counselors to look for joyful opportunities for their students. <o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i> </i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 0.5in;"><i>Today I am 71 and it remains a beautiful aspiration. It is why I have written this post.<o:p></o:p></i></p>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-8748511215758629052020-07-01T09:29:00.002-07:002020-07-01T12:56:30.091-07:00Girls CAN Throw<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Recently I was watching my family play (at social distance) in the swimming pool in our neighborhood. My wife was throwing a plastic ball to her grandchildren and I said, “Nice throw, Carol. You don’t throw like a girl.” Sara, my adult step-daughter, responded with an uncharacteristically harsh admonition. She said she resented the phrase “throw like a girl.” She said she did not want language like that spoken in the presence of her two young sons. She said she wanted her sons to grow up to be sensitive, good men who respected women. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I thought Sara’s reaction was a little extreme. However, it did cause me to reflect on the role of parents in the character development of young boys. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I wondered (especially in the context of the <i>#metoo</i> era) how do young boys learn to become men who respect women? This month I have also asked myself how do young white males learn to recognize and (unlike my generation) do something useful in response to systemic racism?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Asking questions is easy. Answering is difficult. All that I do know is this.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I am the father of two young, white men of good character. They both hold themselves to higher standards than I ever held myself. They both treat their wives and other women with respect. They both operate their personal and professional lives in accordance with their own solid ethical standards. They both are gifted at communicating with people from different backgrounds, races, cultures, etc. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are not infallible, but they are both good men of strong character. I do not know how this happened. Probably just serendipity. Yet, in this era of intense awareness about the attitudes and behaviors of white men I think it is a good idea to ask, “How do young, white men of good character develop?” There are lots of them to observe and to learn from. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I’m proud to know two.<o:p></o:p></span></p>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-74033071863735707132020-04-17T06:22:00.002-07:002020-05-04T08:45:05.339-07:00One Very Long Sentence<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">Living in a pandemic reveals truths that are endemic </span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">to the life, times, and polemics <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">of Planet Earth in this age<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">of exaggerated outrage<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">when we prefer to argue and fight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">and insist that only our side sees the Light<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">that can reveal the solution to our global plight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">without seeing that the only hope… however slight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">is to work together toward a collective insight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">that just might<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">hold us together </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">long enough to tether <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">a lifeline to the solution </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">to the pandemic’s challenge to our evolution.</span></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-10897322939450667182020-03-19T14:11:00.002-07:002020-03-19T14:11:55.795-07:00What We Might Be Saying in a Year or So<br />
2020 was a doozy of a year! So many of us got sick with the virus. So many of us died earlier than we would have otherwise. We lost jobs, money, and, most significantly, we temporarily lost a sense of confidence about the future.<br />
<br />
Yet, here we are in late 2021. We got through it. So what did we learn.<br />
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We learned that we are all interconnected, whether we like it or not. We now recognize that all of us on planet Earth are connected in a giant physical (and maybe metaphysical) network. For many centuries prior to 2020 most of us were able to ignore this fact. But in a post 2020 world we can no longer ignore this simple reality... we are one... big interconnected organism.<br />
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We learned that we need to create a global healthcare system that has the capacity to respond to the next novel virus and to the one after that. We learned that we need to transcend cultural barriers that inhibit collaboration. We learned that our giant physical (and maybe metaphysical) network can be helpful in solving other global problems we face like climate change.<br />
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We learned that our ignorant government leaders had to either grow up or get out of the way. We discovered that we didn't need to accept stupid political gridlock. We learned that we still have the intelligent capacity to work with each other in order to solve problems.<br />
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In some ways, the damn virus may have done us a favor.MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-7335975190410916932020-03-02T13:07:00.000-08:002020-03-05T05:05:08.662-08:00When Your Mother Dies at a Very Old Age...<br />
You might think there is no need for sorrow, no need for grief.<br />
You might think her death is actually overdue and a welcome relief.<br />
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People might say to you, "The deceased has finally been released<br />
from the painful cage of very old age.<br />
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So just move on. Don't feel sad.<br />
Just appreciate what a good life she had."<br />
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You might even tell yourself. Don't feel lost. Don't feel lonely.<br />
Don't dwell on the loss of your one and only...<br />
Mothership.<br />
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All of that might be good advice for how you should feel.<br />
But don't expect that advice to matter a great deal.<br />
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Because the Mothership is gone and can never be replaced.<br />
So now you are left to learn how to fill in the empty space.<br />
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<br />MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-41220379451911362082020-01-02T17:59:00.001-08:002020-01-06T08:54:24.587-08:00The Legend of the Sea Beaver<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">About five years ago I was walking on the beach at Bald Head Island with then six-year-old Sully Davis. Sully saw something that caught his attention and he ran ahead to check it out. It was a mangled mess of seaweed, driftwood, trash, and some unidentifiable organic matter that had washed up onto the shore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sully said, “Hey, what’s that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Always interested in the depths of gullibility of the six-year-old mind, I said, “That, my friend, is a Sea Beaver.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sully said, “Sea Beaver! What’s that?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I said, “Sea Beavers are very rare creatures that are only found deep near the ocean floor. This one must have gotten into shallow water and lost a fight with a shark or something. You are really lucky to find a Sea Beaver, even a dead one, because Sea Beavers avoid people and are seldom seen by anybody.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sully picked up the dead Sea Beaver with a stick and took the carcass back to an area of the beach near our rental house. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">The following day we were walking on the beach again with several adult family members including my son, Patrick, when Sully saw another washed up pile of debris. He shouted, “Hey, another Sea Beaver!” Patrick, who had many years of experience with my gullibility tests asked Sully what he was talking about. I heard Patrick ask, “Who told you that was a Sea Beaver?” Even as he was asking I could see Patrick’s eyes turning toward me. Patrick leaned over Sully and said, “Don’t you know that you can’t believe anything he tells you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sully looked a little disappointed that the rare Sea Beaver was not real. But his disappointment was short lived because his beautiful six-year-old mind took over. Sully<i> wanted</i> to believe in the rare Sea Beaver. So, he did. In fact, Sully and I went on to invent a substantial mythology around the Noble Sea Beaver. We decided that Sea Beavers were strong, courageous, freedom-loving creatures that did just what they wanted to do…every day. They enjoyed their lives and lived in the present. They didn’t worry about useless stuff that was out of their control. They did not care what other sea creatures thought about them. They just focused on their unique Sea Beaver skills and abilities and did things they were good at. After centuries of evolution the Sea Beavers were now the most confident mammals on the ocean floor. They were also good role models for the rest of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sully decided we should give his Sea Beaver a decent burial. The following day we took the Sea Beaver carcass to a secluded spot on the beach and we buried it. We placed a driftwood marker above the gravesite and we said a few respectful comments about the Noble Sea Beaver. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">This week eleven-year-old Sully, his little brother, Finn, and I were back at Bald Head Island. Sully taught Finn about the legend of the Sea Beaver and he invited Finn to join us at a memorial service at the burial site of the original Sea Beaver. It was a touching service. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-75902026507118210372019-12-23T11:06:00.002-08:002019-12-29T13:29:59.747-08:00Be Aware When Going to Whole Foods<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">This morning I stopped by Whole Foods in Chapel Hill for breakfast. I don’t stop there often anymore but this morning I was there…again. As I sat down I remembered being at that same spot on September 11, 2001 and hearing about the 9/11 attacks for the first time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Today it was another surprise. I was reading the news on my iPad and came across an article announcing the death of Ram Dass. I was not shocked by the news but really shocked by my response. I felt a deep sense of loss, as if I had lost a close friend. Fortunately, I was alone and could allow myself a few moments to feel the emotion. I found the Ram Dass Facebook page where thousands of people were commenting. I added mine, hoping this simple act might matter to someone. I wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">After hearing Ram Dass speak in 1971 my life was never the same. I sense his Being...here…Now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-63249104123506141962019-12-07T06:53:00.000-08:002019-12-08T17:07:35.518-08:00Dallas Cowboys Give Back<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Yesterday I had a pleasant text message exchange with Steve Rodriguez who is an extremely nice guy in Louisville.</span><br />
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Steve wrote, “Remember that Cowboys jacket I got from u a while back?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I remembered because the jacket had a history. About 10 years ago a generous woman, Laura Ring, gave me a bag of clothes to share with some panhandlers in my neighborhood. Laura had an unusual but admirable respect for the panhandlers and their difficult lifestyles. Included in the bag of clothing was an almost-new Dallas Cowboys leather jacket. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I made a decision to take the really cool leather jacket intended for the homeless guys and instead give it to the only Dallas Cowboys fan that I knew – Steve Rodriguez. I asked my wife to wrap it up so we could give it to Steve for Christmas. I enjoyed watching Steve open and appreciate the gift. I also felt a slight ambivalence because I knew the homeless guys in my neighborhood might have hated the Dallas Cowboys but they would have appreciated the warmth of that jacket.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Steve’s message yesterday continued. “I went to a function with the Portland Christian School to feed the less fortunate during Thanksgiving and I found a Cowboys fan that needed a winter coat and I gave it to him. He loved it and I was blessed.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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It took about ten years but the jacket finally found its destination. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I texted back to Steve, “Thanks for paying it forward. If it ever comes back to me I will give it to you again.”</div>
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<o:p></o:p>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-31911982612204157562019-11-12T06:32:00.001-08:002019-11-14T07:17:10.338-08:00Peace on Earth<br />
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Human beings are capable of destroying the ecosystem of our entire planet<br />
- the ultimate insanity.<br />
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And yet...at places like Brookgreen Gardens<br />
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Human beings are capable of creating beautiful celebrations of our environment<br />
- for all of humanity.MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-25841689329058456902019-10-05T12:14:00.001-07:002019-10-09T08:34:57.052-07:00Eulogy for Wilma Owen<div style="text-align: center;">
February 2, 1923</div>
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September 30, 2019</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">On the drive over this morning I was talking to my wife about this eulogy and I guess she sensed a little concern on my part so she asked, “What’s the worst that can happen?” I said, “Well, I guess the worst thing is I won’t be able to finish it.” She said, “That’s not bad. It’ll be shorter.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A few weeks ago, Carol and I were up here visiting my mother. My mother knew then that she was about to begin hospice care and that her life was close to the end. She and I had many frank conversations over the years so I felt okay asking her two questions. I asked, “What are you most afraid of and what are you most hopeful for at this stage of your life?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">She didn’t respond right away but the next morning she said, “Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was thinking about those two questions. On the first one I decided…I am not afraid of anything. I used to be afraid of things but now I am not afraid of anything.” I asked, “What about the other question? What are you most hopeful for?” She said, “Well, I hope I die before all of my hair falls out.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We laughed for a few moments and then she went on to say that she hoped she would not die before Patrick’s wedding on September 21 because she did not want to disrupt anybody’s travel plans. She also said she hoped that soon after Patrick’s wedding she would “just float away and leave behind all of the pain that has been holding on to me for so long.” And I think that is what happened on Monday morning of this week. She finally just floated away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The minister, Tom, knows that my mother, like most of us, has sometimes had a voice of doubt. Over the years and especially after she passed ninety, she often had doubts about her purpose in life. She would ask, “Why is God keeping me alive? There just doesn’t seem to be any purpose for it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was ironic that she was unsure about her life’s purpose because it was obvious to many of us. Her purpose…her talent… her super power was her effortless ability to make meaningful connections with people. She made countless mutually-supportive, meaningful connections with people during each decade of her life. Some of the strongest connections were made right here, in this church. This church and its members were extremely important to her, especially after the death of her husband 21 years ago. Her connections in this church helped her move on from that difficult transition. So, she did move on and she continued to make new, meaningful, strong connections within each community she joined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">She continued to make connections all the way to her last stop…eight months ago when she moved to the skilled nursing care building at Westminster Terrance. Her roommate’s name was Alma, the same name as my mother’s mother, so we all suspected that they might get along. My mother made such a strong connection with Alma that this week as she was dying Alma rolled her wheelchair over to our side of the room and said, “I’ve only known her for eight months but she is like family to me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, if Alma was like family I am sure she heard a lot from my mother about her grandchildren; Wesley, Amanda, Brent and Patrick. My mother took such great pride and satisfaction in the lives and achievements of her grandchildren. They were all so closely connected to her, especially Amanda who had the sweetest granddaughter/grandmother relationship imaginable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am sure Alma heard about my mother’s niece, Marsha Staiger, who she had recently started calling “My Fairy God Mother” because they had that kind of connection. She likely heard about my mother’s nephews, Robert and Richard Brent, with whom she had special, life-long, deeply personal connections.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am sure Alma observed how my mother got a little less secure when my brother was out of town and how she relaxed when he returned. This was because my brother was her personal, reliable safety net for 21 years since our father died. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Alma might have heard my mother complain about never having had a daughter and just being stuck with two sons. I used to joke around with my brother that he could remedy the problem if he would just get a sex change operation…but I knew he wouldn’t do it because it was just too expensive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We couldn’t be daughters for her but we did bring to her daughters-in-law that helped fill the void of not have a daughter of her own. I know my wife has valued her connection with my mother and that the two of them taught each other a lot over 32 years about how to be strong, independent-thinking women.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now I can almost hear my mother’s voice in my ear saying, “Michael, you don’t have to mention everybody. I did not win the Academy Award. I just died.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But I will mention that I am sure that if she could she would walk across the hall after this service and thank everyone here for the role you had in her life and if you didn’t have a role in her life she would use the opportunity to start creating one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I also know she would want one more connection mentioned and that was the relationship she had with her niece, Sharon Price and Sharon’s friend, Judy. Their connection can only be described as a thing of beauty. And as Sharon and I were discussing earlier this week, the connection that we feel with Aunt Sis, Grandma, Meme, Wilma, Willie, Mother, Mom is not going anywhere. That sense of connection we feel today is as strong as it was last week and it will be just as strong next week. That sense of connection will always be available whenever we need it as long as we live and maybe longer.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-86882974684826031512019-08-27T11:26:00.001-07:002019-08-27T11:26:41.462-07:00My New Haircut<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">When Carol and I go on long road trips we seldom listen to music. We don’t even turn on the radio. We spend most of the time talking or listening to each other. The following dialog is a short portion of a conversation we had this week while driving home from Louisville.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: You know you will need to get a haircut before Patrick’s wedding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: Please, please don’t get another crappy haircut. This time it matters. You don’t want to embarrass Patrick with your usual stupid Super Cuts haircut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: The Super Cuts haircuts don’t always suck. Once or twice I have come home with a Super Cut and you haven’t even noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: In thirty-two years how often has that happened?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: Maybe twice…okay once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: How many have sucked? How many times has your haircut been so severe that you could see white, untanned skin all around your neck? How many of your cheap haircuts have taken your head weeks to recover?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: Okay, that has happened a few times. I think the worst one was the damn haircut that made me look like Christian Lattner. That one really did suck. I wanted to call the cops on that barber.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: Promise me you will get a good haircut this time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: Okay, but tell me what you consider a good haircut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: A good haircut doesn’t look like you just had one. If you get a good haircut the stylist will groom your eyebrows and ears and remove hair from all of your…hairy places.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: (laughing) I can imagine asking a barber to remove all the hair from my hairy places. The freaking barber would say, “Listen buddy, I am not going near all your hairy places. If you want your hairy places trimmed you’re gonna have to ask your wife to do it. “<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: You know what I mean. Would you like me to ask my stylist if she will cut your hair?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: No. But if I did how much would it cost?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: About forty-five dollars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: No way. That’s more than I pay for a year’s worth of haircuts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: And how do think that is working for ya?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: Forty-five dollars! That’s more than we used to pay to have the dog groomed. Maybe I should get my hair cut at the vet. I’ve often thought the vet offered a better deal on healthcare than the Family Practice Clinic. Maybe they can offer a better deal on haircuts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Carol: You know when they groomed the dog they also drained his anal gland. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Michael: Point taken. Let’s ask Patrick for a suggestion for a good place to get a new haircut. He once mentioned a place where they offer free beer and sports on TV. Maybe I should look into that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-4278527875933956602019-08-17T07:35:00.000-07:002019-08-17T14:14:35.516-07:00Retirement: A Stairway to HeavenRetirement is neither bad nor good.<br />
It is a blank slate. A time to reflect and look under my own hood.<br />
I guess I could just sit around and wonder what it might feel like to be ninety seven<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxvv64Anv30jXVM1BWmHVb0jkpoKw-nMi2E5MpOwT7p0ADwcWzGclH_lrx2D5GWUXEI1OmQxQaK26sTYoFtBg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
Or I could try to learn something relevant on ukulele like the Stairway to Heaven.<br />
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<br />MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-7788563665638385122019-02-23T08:22:00.000-08:002019-03-07T05:34:21.544-08:00The Lucky Ones<br />
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">The lucky ones have already died.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They’ve gone ahead and migrated over to the other side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They are no longer suffering </span><span style="font-size: 16pt;">or relying on pain meds just to get by.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">The lucky ones have already died.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They no longer have to struggle to remember answers to questions about where or why.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They no longer have to search for words to help them pretend or deny.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">The lucky ones have already died.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They’ve looked straight into their loved one's tearful eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They’ve taken their chances and said their goodbyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">The lucky ones have already died.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-12205845532303616492019-01-08T10:58:00.002-08:002020-03-17T14:50:53.318-07:00Everything Was Possible<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">This week I reconnected with an old friend with whom I had lost contact for about 44 years. The connection was made possible through the magic of the Internet and a helpful assist from another old friend. The Internet can be extremely bad or extremely good. This time it was good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">My old friend, Tom, and I were close friends when we were in our early twenties. For a while we shared a big house in the West End of Louisville with two other friends, Lloyd, and Jan. I think it was in the summer of 1973 that Tom and I took off in his brand-new car and drove across the country camping out, smoking pot, and creating funny adventures. We got separated in San Francisco (another story) but we both eventually found our way back to the big house in the West End of Louisville.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Not long after we returned from our trip(s) Tom walked into my room and told me that he was gay. He looked sincere but I was skeptical. I knew Tom sometimes made quick (impulsive) decisions so I said something like, “I don’t think it works like that. You don’t just decide one day you’re gay.” * Tom told me that he suspected that he had always been gay. He had just been denying it. I was a little shocked. I thought this was a pretty big deal for Tom. However, I did not think it was going to make much difference in our relationship...and it didn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">A few months passed and Tom moved to the Pacific Northwest. He bought an old house outside of Granite Falls, Washington. He named his house The Institute. It was big enough to accommodate a bunch of people. By the time, I visited The Institute in 1975 there were about five other people living there with Tom and there were numerous neighbors coming and going. Tom had started a large vegetable garden and all of the other residents helped maintain it. I never heard anyone mention the term “rent.” Instead people just spontaneously dropped money (or food stamps) in a basket in the kitchen and then took it out as needed to make grocery runs or to pay for other household expenses. The Institute had become a magical place. I think I was the only straight person staying at The Institute at that time but Tom made me feel welcome for the few months that I was there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">When I no longer had enough money to drop in the basket I left The Institute. I moved to southern Indiana where I became the temporary caretaker of two goats and a summer campground for kids. I was there throughout most of the winter. Eventually, my relationship with the goats and the owner of the property went sour so I moved back to Louisville and launched a semi-normal life and career. I completely lost contact with Tom - until this week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Another wonderful old friend sent Tom’s email address to me. We have now swapped emails and shared short summaries of our past 44 years. Tom has lived in New York City for most of his adult life. He wrote two poignant comments that were very meaningful to me. He wrote, "We shared a time in our lives when everything was possible." I immediately re-experienced the feeling associated with that time. The memory and feeling brought a tear to my eyes.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Tom also wrote, "You helped my transition to my true self." I wrote back, "I don't know what I did but whatever it was I am proud of it."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">*I recently spoke to Tom on the phone. We talked for about an hour reminiscing. He told he that he was not gay but instead he was <i>sexually fluid</i>. It's a real thing. I looked it up. If you are interested you can too. After all, Everything was Possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-88590749925255525552018-11-21T08:53:00.002-08:002018-11-22T12:14:07.541-08:00Out and In-Laws<br />
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Today Carol and I are celebrating our 31st anniversary. During those years, we have learned a lot about each other. We have learned to accommodate to our vastly different approaches for solving problems and making decisions. Carol has learned to adjust to my slightly causal approach to clothing management. I have learned (with frequent exceptions) to accept her need for order and predictability. The most important thing we have learned is how to function as a team. Included in that teamwork is our willingness and ability to relate to our in-laws. That capacity has developed slowly but marriage is, as they say, a marathon, not a sprint.<br />
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My first attempt at building in-law relationships was a complete failure. I was unable and unwilling to accept any role within my first wife’s family. I thought they were uniquely screwed up and I wanted no part of them. I reluctantly participated in family gatherings but I tried to be invisible within the group. When my marriage ended, I was relieved by the fact I would never see my in-laws again. I realize now that I was too young and immature to understand the complicated dynamics that were in play during that stage of my married life.<br />
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I could have repeated the same pattern when Carol and I got married. But by then I had learned a few things. For example, I had learned that all families are uniquely screwed up. I also began to understand that all families have hidden opportunities to build surprising relationships. The unlikely relationship I had with Carol’s dad and the beautiful relationship Carol has with my mother are examples of unexpected opportunities realized.<br />
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These two in-law relationships might not be the reason our marriage has lasted for 31 years. But I feel like they sure helped. In retrospect, all it took was patience and an openness to the unexpected.<br />
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MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-84922719980216830752018-10-18T14:51:00.002-07:002018-11-10T14:30:39.490-08:00Highway 61 Revisited<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">My friend, John Freeman and I have been friends for sixty-one years. He recently visited Chapel Hill and stayed with Carol and me for a few days. John travels in a large, solar-equipped, self-contained van in which he can drive, sleep, eat, camp, stay warm, and entertain himself as he travels across the country. I don’t know how many cross-country trips John has taken in his van but I think he has stopped by Chapel Hill in the van three times over the years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">John and I met in Cub Scouts when we were eight years old. We lived on the same street and our houses were only a few doors away from each other. We were close friends in those days and spent a lot of time just hanging out at his house. John’s mother was a single parent. I called her Aunt Mildred. She was a profoundly good person but being a single parent in the fifties was no easier than it is today - just more unusual. Perhaps out of necessity, Mildred was a good deal more flexible in her supervision than my parents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When I was about fourteen I started going on long road trips with John and Aunt Mildred. We traveled to the Wisconsin Dells, to Colorado, to San Francisco and many other interesting places in between. I remember stopping once in Springfield, Missouri to visit the gravesite of John’s father. Each trip left me with warm, positive memories of people and places I would not have otherwise known.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">John was (and still is) one year older than me. When we were kids that one year made a difference. I looked up to him. His quirky interests and behaviors were far different than those of other kids I knew. John was aware that he was different and I admired the confidence with which he embraced his own unique world view. Without being aware of it, John broadened my perspective about life as a kid. He continued to do that as we became teenagers and young adults.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYmUqRudCsJsr-u3RvQa6cLpUZYuTHOjuuKZgGSvPU6Ds4Lsphc71pv94QWzIgMYZCi2NEOYbydKRziGXg0Y8gDMvlVItpVAqv7TulC3cvDSt3mKrLwWdsOihWQsXxf9nHJw6ae3AQGjK/s1600/IMG-1705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="909" data-original-width="1600" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYmUqRudCsJsr-u3RvQa6cLpUZYuTHOjuuKZgGSvPU6Ds4Lsphc71pv94QWzIgMYZCi2NEOYbydKRziGXg0Y8gDMvlVItpVAqv7TulC3cvDSt3mKrLwWdsOihWQsXxf9nHJw6ae3AQGjK/s320/IMG-1705.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">There is something about John’s consistency after all these years that I respect. He still has quirky interests and an unusual lifestyle. He still enjoys taking long cross country road trips. I suspect it is getting harder but John continues to embrace his own unique world view.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you are curious about John’s most recent trip you can read about it at </span><o:p></o:p><a href="http://whufu.com/?page=log&type=id&key=56">http://whufu.com/?page=log&type=id&key=56</a>.</div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-59170445845910839192018-05-10T10:08:00.000-07:002018-05-13T05:42:05.017-07:00Very High School<br />
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My friend, Lloyd, and I graduated from the same high school.
We often talk and laugh about that period in our lives. Our high school days occurred over fifty years ago but those days continue to produce interesting echoes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Our high school served predominately white, blue collar,
working class neighborhoods in Louisville. Our school did not have all of the
resources or the perceived advantages of high schools in wealthier neighborhoods
in the East End. I used to think that whatever I learned in those teenage years
was in spite of my high school, not because of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Like high school kids everywhere we learned to entertain
ourselves during school hours by pranking teachers or inventing other ways to
creatively misbehave. Sometimes after school we entertained ourselves by
watching tough guys fight each other behind the Texaco station next door. The
tough guy fights drew large crowds and provided valuable learning opportunities
for those of us in the audience. For example, I learned how to avoid eye contact
and become invisible in order to avoid spin off fights that were sometimes
inspired by the main events.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t remember much of the formal academic side of my high
school experience. However, I do have one exceptional high school memory. My senior year I took a humanities class taught by
Francis Schneiter. In Ms. Schneiter’s class we read, among other books, <i>The </i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">World's Religions</i> by Huston Smith and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Story of Philosophy</i> by Will and
Ariel Durrant. I have very positive memories of sitting in humanities class reading and discussing<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">specific</span> pages of these books with Ms. Schneiter. It was not a coincidence that a few years later I
majored in Philosophy in college. Nor was it a coincidence that I paid attention to the remarkable
life and career of Huston Smith until his death in 2016. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Ms. Schneiter died a few years ago. I hope she was aware that she was a visionary and an inspirational teacher.<o:p></o:p></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-23876125621029596292018-01-30T07:46:00.003-08:002018-01-30T07:54:41.236-08:00Remember to Look at Your Hands“A lucid dream is a dream during which the dreamer is aware of dreaming. During lucid dreaming, the dreamer may be able to exert some degree of control over the dream characters, narrative, and environment.”
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<br />
Look at your hands. This is such a simple sentence. Its simplicity might be why it works as a way to intentionally shift an ordinary dream into a lucid dream.<br />
<br />
A few days ago, I started re-reading a book by Carlos Castaneda called “The Art of Dreaming.” My good friend, Lloyd, gave me the book for Christmas. It was published in 1993 and I remember first reading it around that time.
In the book the author describes a number of techniques to alter awareness through intentional dreaming. One of the techniques is to give yourself a simple instruction while awake to carry out in a dream. The recommended instruction is as simple as it gets. Look at your hands.<br />
<br />
Since I first read this instruction in 1993 I have been able to remember to do it only three times. On the first two occasions when I looked at my hands while dreaming I was exhilarated by the experience. I became aware that the dream was mine and that I could do anything I wanted within it. I experienced a spectacular sense of well-being and empowerment. Both times, I spontaneously began to fly.<br />
<br />
Two nights ago, after reading a chapter of the Castaneda book, I did it again. In my dream, I remembered to look at my hands. This time I did not fly but I experienced an indescribable physical sensation. I became intensely aware of the details within the space I was occupying in the dream. I was aware that I had infinite choice about how to experience the dream. Then the moment passed and I woke up.<br />
<br />
I continue to think about that dream. I wonder how often I let infinite choice pass me by during my ordinary waking state without making a decision.
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-41761784769048858022018-01-07T12:56:00.002-08:002018-01-08T14:34:33.082-08:00It's the Journey, Not the Destination<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Carol and I spent the last week helping our son, Patrick, his fiancé, Lisa, and their dog, Bramble, move to Denver, Colorado from
Raleigh, NC. We helped them drive their two cars and a 15-foot panel truck 1700
miles in three days. We stopped overnight in Louisville and then in Kansas City
and then… just kept driving. The outside temperature was near zero for about
half of the trip. The wind gusts in Kansas made it difficult to keep the panel
truck upright and in the correct lane. Lisa had a bad cold and needed rest. By
the end of the second day, Patrick was exhausted and feeling the stress of
being the group leader and primary truck driver. Bramble and I were both disoriented and
constipated. By Day Three Carol was absorbing some of the stress, too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet, if Patrick asked me to take the entire trip again, I
would do it in a heartbeat. It actually was a privilege to witness Patrick and Lisa as they took
a big risk and moved West.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
________________________________________________________</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
There also was something magical about driving along with
Carol and watching Patrick and Lisa zooming out ahead of us. It felt like a metaphor for something much bigger.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<o:p></o:p>MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-81845997264767005042017-12-26T07:18:00.002-08:002018-05-30T16:40:21.296-07:00An Unlikely Christmas Sermon I Might Have Listened To...Have you ever daydreamed through a Christian Christmas church service? I have daydreamed through many. Sometimes I daydream the sermon that I would like to be hearing instead of the one that is going on. The following fictional Christmas sermon is the result of one of those daydreams. This does not necessarily reflect what I believe. It is, however, a fictional perspective on Christmas that I would understand and respect.<br />
<br />
________________________________________________________________________<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
Good morning and Merry Christmas brothers and sisters. Here we
are again. Right now... on this beautiful morning where we have gathered to celebrate
together the birth of Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
Let’s begin today by taking a deep breath…
and then releasing it very slowly. Let’s pause and notice the space we are
sharing with each other right now…in this sacred moment.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before our Christmas celebration begins I want to share
with you some unusual questions I am asking myself this year. This year
I am asking myself, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
What if Jesus never
really existed?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
What if the entire
story of Jesus is just a story?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
What if the skeptics
have been right all along and Jesus is just a myth?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know the answer for you but for me the answer to
these questions is …<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
It would not make any difference.</div>
<br />
I would experience the
same joy that people have celebrated for centuries. I would celebrate because the significance of
Jesus for me is not His physical presence 2000 years ago. The significance for
me is the message that is communicated by God through the story of Jesus. The message remains relevant because it exists within each of us in this room <i>right now</i>. That message is about the
power… the energy…the life force that is the essence of Jesus. It is the
message of universal <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Love</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You see, I believe that the good news, the Gospel told through the story of Jesus, is that it is possible to know God by sharing love with each other. The good news is that deep within
each of us is the universal longing and the potential to connect with each other through the
force of love.<br />
<br />
I believe that all we have to do to save ourselves from ignorance and
suffering is to recognize and release the love energy, inspired by Jesus, that is
waiting to manifest in our lives right now and in every other moment. When we recognize and release that love we are then connected to each other on a physical plane and connected to all others who have come before us or will come after us on a spiritual plane that some have
called Heaven.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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So, this Christmas I am observing that if Jesus never really existed <span style="text-align: center;">it would not make any difference to me. I would still celebrate the message of
Jesus that God has shared with us through the story of Jesus Christ. So let the
party begin.</span><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-3986974923555980212017-12-18T08:34:00.001-08:002017-12-19T16:20:48.801-08:00Dying to Know - Now<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_cmfPbdHiJI5AcfzYsyI2gEpDmHVS_GsX08nOI2Qx-ZxOLencQ6ItNFsYlndKFf6h8CIvQ-bybBO3riz8T34OC2M0RHaTlXAIUlJ1XgIlTXCKYtSHyCwndvkN4jxqVWIaHVk7nv1WKn6F/s1600/31nZmnNRviL._UX250_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="202" data-original-width="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_cmfPbdHiJI5AcfzYsyI2gEpDmHVS_GsX08nOI2Qx-ZxOLencQ6ItNFsYlndKFf6h8CIvQ-bybBO3riz8T34OC2M0RHaTlXAIUlJ1XgIlTXCKYtSHyCwndvkN4jxqVWIaHVk7nv1WKn6F/s1600/31nZmnNRviL._UX250_.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I recently watched a movie on Netflix called, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dying to Know</i>. It is a documentary film
narrated by Robert Redford about the lives of Timothy Leary and Ram Dass, aka,
Richard Alpert. Much of the film is footage of a conversation between the two
men that occurred a few months prior to Timothy Leary’s death. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I think the movie does a great job of telling the story of
how these two men influenced the culture in obvious and in subtle ways. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I cannot describe how I felt watching the film. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I first heard the story of Timothy Leary and Ram Dass, in 1971. Someone gave me a reel-to-reel audiotape and just
said, “You will want to listen to this.” I listened to it and then listened to
it again…and again. It was a three hour talk by Ram Dass describing his
experience with Timothy Leary and psychedelic drugs that lead to his eventual pilgrimage to India. The
audiotape preceded the soon-to-be released book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Be Here Now</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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While watching the movie, Dying to Know, I was swept with my
own <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Be Here Now</i> moment. I noticed
that I was listening to Ram Dass telling me the same story with the same
message he shared in 1971. The only difference was the passage of 45 years. The
similarity of then and now reminded me again. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Be Here Now. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
I think Ram Dass and my late my father-in-law, Bob Parr, looked similar. I shared the Ram Dass article called <i>Dying is Perfectly Safe </i>with Bob a couple of years before his death. I hope it was helpful.</div>
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MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5516762141170369973.post-72490090916415252402017-12-16T11:46:00.000-08:002017-12-18T16:59:48.261-08:00The Kickstarter<br />
<br />
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When my son, Wes, was about 12 years old he decided to learn karate.
This decision was a little surprising because Wes was not really interested in
sports as a kid. In those days Wes was more interested in sulking around and
listening to loud music in his bedroom. His favorite sport was shooting stuff,
mostly tin cans, with a .22 rifle or a BB gun. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I worried about Wes in those days because he seemed quietly
angry. I assumed his quiet anger was related to the turmoil that his mother and
I had created in his life. When he was six years old he watched us co-facilitate
an extremely nasty divorce. As part of “the process” we paid lawyers to create
a clumsy joint custody agreement and a chaotic back-and-forth schedule that had
less to do with Wes’s needs for structure and stability and more to do with his
parents’ mutual resentment and distrust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In those turbulent days Wes put up with us and tried not to rock the
boat any more than necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I
think our foolishness made him angry.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So when Wes decided to learn karate I thought it was
probably a good thing. I thought karate lessons might provide a physical way
for Wes to express some of the feelings that he was reluctant to verbalize. I signed him up for lessons at the local YMCA
and bought a karate uniform for him. He attended karate class two or three evenings a week and
appeared to enjoy it. He liked his karate uniform and sometimes wore it around
the house. Over a period of a few months Wes earned a yellow belt, then a green
one, and then a purple one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes I would watch part of Wes’s karate lesson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The class included about twelve students.
They practiced various exercises and drills, and then took turns sparing with
each other. The instructor was careful to match sparing partners of similar size
and ability and to make sure nobody got hurt. The kids all wore some padding
and protective head gear so I was not worried about Wes’s safety until his
karate teacher started encouraging the students to enter a tournament.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The karate teacher believed that competing in tournaments
was necessary for students to make progress. The tournaments required students
to fight with strangers from other karate schools. Wes was ambivalent and
resisted for a while but eventually agreed to enter a weekend tournament in
Butner, a weird little town about a 30-minute drive from Chapel Hill.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The tournament was on a Saturday morning. On the drive to
Butner I could tell that Wes was very nervous. So was I. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember thinking, “I wonder why I am paying
money to have some other kid kick my kid’s ass.” When we got there and saw the
other contestants in his age group warming up our anxiety grew. I hoped that
Wes, nor I, would chicken out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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Wes did not chicken out. In fact, he won his first round
match. He won by constantly moving around and playing defense well enough to
avoid getting hit with solid punches. A solid punch was worth one point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A solid kick to the head was worth three
points because it was a more difficult move and seldom attempted at this level
of competition. So I think everyone in the room was a little surprised when Wes
stunned his opponent with a sudden kick to the head toward the end of the match.
Three quick points and Wes had won Round 1. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the second round Wes seemed more confident. He continued
to employ his defensive strategy of movement and avoidance while patiently
waiting for an opportunity to kick the other kid’s head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He waited, waited, then bam. He landed another
solid kick to the head. Ultimately, he scored six points off of two surprising head
kicks and won Round 2 of the tournament. Wes had clearly exceeded his expectations
and surprised the hell out of me. I would have been happy to leave immediately and
enjoy the moment but there was one more round of competition.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The winner of Round 3 would win the age group and take home an
impressive trophy. Wes’s opponent in this round would later win the state
championship and have an article written about him in our local newspaper. I
had watched him earlier in the tournament. He was quick, coordinated, and
talented. Wes did not have a chance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the third round Wes’s opponent looked in command from the
start but he appeared wary of Wes’s dangerous right foot. The other kid knew he
was the better fighter and he was predictably over confident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Wes kicked him in the head he appeared even
more stunned than the previous two opponents. Wes seemed to realize that kicking
head was his only chance so he became more aggressive. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He managed to kick the other guy’s head four
times and pull off the upset victory. I could not have been more stunned if
someone had suddenly kicked me in the head.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wes was having a peak experience and I was lucky enough to
watch. He could not remain on the floor when he received his trophy. He was
literally jumping for joy. The vanquished Round 3 opponent was a good sport. He
walked over to shake Wes’s hand. He walked away still shaking his battered
head. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On the car trip home Wes did not even try to contain his
excitement. He kept repeating, “I won the tournament!” I did not have to say
too much because I knew that Wes could sense my pride and respect for what he
had accomplished.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The karate tournament was twenty five years ago. Wes is now
a highly competent professional, a caring and respectful husband, and an
overall good guy. He has become the type of adult that any karate teacher or
any parent would be proud of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I doubt
that the karate tournament had much of a role in his character development but
I bet he can still kick unsuspecting opponents in the head if necessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
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UPDATE: I wrote this story several years ago. Wes read it
and called me to tell me he did not like it so I deleted it. Actually, he said
he did not care whether I posted it or not. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
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Wes told me that he did not like the story because his
memory of the karate tournament (and his childhood) is different than mine. He
reminded me that the divorce episode was mostly my problem, not his. He
suggested that I really needed to give up that ancient bad dream. Wes is a wise
person.<o:p></o:p></div>
MichaelOhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13652496409736507254noreply@blogger.com0