I even tried writing poetry but it didn't help. It didn't change anything about the way I felt when she left me hanging waiting for another shoe to drop like the many other shoes that would not stop dropping causing waves of depression that transformed me into a sobbing loser. For a long time the sense of loss owned me instead of the other way around. It was in control of my video and in control of my sound. It owned me until eventually it became too repetitive, too boring. So finally the sense of loss just left without any closure, without much warning. It was a lot like her.