Still Here

My father, George died twenty-eight years ago of heart disease. He died when he was the same age as I am now. Near the end of his life he said to me, “There’s worse things than dying.” I asked him what was worse and he replied, “Being a burden to my family.” He died shortly afterward and relieved himself of that concern.

In the subsequent years I have come to realize that I did not lose my father. Nor have I lost my mother who died in 2019. I continue to experience a connection with both of them. The connection is more than just a memory. I feel their essence any time that I pay attention to it. I suspect it’s always there even when I am not aware.

I call the connection to my father George Consciousness. When in George Consciousness I experience a moment or an event from what feels like his unique perspective. Given his sense of humor those moments are usually very funny.

I am grateful that both of my parents are Still Here.

Raison D’etre

It's not a lot

But it's what I got

Hope it'll last

Not go too fast

Some comin’ in

Some goin' out

Leavin' me just about

Enough to break even

So I can keep seein'

A decent balance to be bequeathin’

To two fine young men

Who are my best reason

For Bein’

Here Now.

Waiting Is the Hardest Part

 I am waiting for a new political movement in the USA. The movement will be lead by a young, charismatic leader who is not connected to either of the archaic political parties that exist today. The movement I am waiting for will not hold itself and the country hostage to an ideology. It will be joined by independent thinking citizens who are focused on sensible, pragmatic solutions to problems we all share. Leaders of this movement will apply a term from my childhood - the art of compromise. I am 75 years old so I hope I won’t have to wait much longer.

I Never Get Any Good Mail

No good mail, no good wishes

No mail box of Cherry Berry’s chocolate kisses

No checks, no refunds brought to me by snail

All I get is an endless supply of useless junk mail 

Why doesn’t the mail carrier just put it in my garbage can?

Why do they need me to do it? I’m just the middle man.

Better yet, how do I automatically send it back to where it’s already been

So somebody else can put it in their recycle bin.

Eating from the Same Plate

I wonder what and I wonder who

Could ever unite the Red and the Blue.

I’ve lived in a sea of Red and I’ve lived in a sea of Blue.

I know people on both sides who

are good and some who are bad, too.

In many ways it doesn’t matter if we are Red or if we are Blue. 

We all love our families and we all love our friends 

We all help our neighbors and

we’ve all worked hard for the money we spend

None of us feel good about the feelings of hate

Cause in reality we are just eating from different sides of the same plate.

Let’s not be duped. Let’s not be conned

By the screens that we watch that profit by leading us on.

There’s lots money made by buying and selling hate

I hope we remember who we are before it’s too late.

Practice

 I suggested recently to a Men’s Group that we each write our own eulogy that might eventually be read by someone else. We are all old guys and we often talk about death and dying so I thought a practice eulogy could be interesting and beneficial. So I started by writing my own.

__________________________________________

Like you and everyone else, Michael had an upside and a downside.

His Upside:

• He attracted and appreciated people with unusual personalities. You might have been one.

• He enjoyed facilitating conversations among people with divergent perspectives.

• He appreciated the value of mental health and of mental health treatment.

• He learned how to see and reflect humor in many situations, even this one.🙂

• He truly loved being a father to his children and a close friend and lover to his wife. He certainly believed his family and their relationships defined him more than anything else. He sure cherished his relationships as grandfather.

• He deeply valued a handful of longtime friendships. The longest and deepest being his friend Lloyd and some of the men in his Men’s Group.

• He did (more or less) the best he could in life given his background, genetic legacy, and context. In other words, he played the hand he was dealt reasonably well.

• Thankfully, he did learn to see and appreciate some of the paradoxes within reality that most people usually ignore or just take for granted.  A few of his favorite quotes were:

• “the up and the down are the same” from Heraclitus
• “dying is perfectly safe” from Ram Dass
• “time is an illusion” from Science 
• “we are all individual cells in a much larger body” 
  from God, Nature, or something like It.

His Downsides:

He had his share and a few extra.

•  He had a lack of self control, especially in his younger years. This lead to some bad decisions, hostile words, hurt feelings. None of it fatal but still regrettable and stupid.

• He was disorganized on many levels simultaneously. Even his disorganization wasn’t well-organized. 

• He overused humor as a defense mechanism. He learned in childhood to use humor to deflect criticism or other challenges to his self concept. The humor may or may not have been funny but he thought it was always better than the alternative. 😊

• He lacked the patience, perseverance, or ambition to demand the best of himself. In many ways he was satisfied with just average. Yet, he was extremely grateful that this characteristic was not passed on to either of his high-performing and high -character sons.💟 He thought it was a pleasant surprise that in his old age his sons became his role models.

• And as all in his family knew, he lacked any and all practical or mechanical skills.

And yet, he did (more or less) the best he could. He played the hand he was dealt in life reasonably well.

Just a good guy. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe that’s enough for now.

An Atheist’s Anathema

I believe in Jesus

I believe in Buddha, too

I believe in Lord Krishna 

I believe in Lao Tzu 

I believe in the Bible

I believe in the Quran

I'd believe in the Upanishads

If I could ever understand 

I believe in Confucius 

I believe in Shinto

I even believe in the preachers who rant on the radio

I believe in Jehovah

But please accept my apology 

Cause I can’t make myself believe in Scientology 

I believe most religions sense the same reality 

That all of us are so much more than any of us can see.

I believe in Jesus 

I believe in Buddha too

I believe in Lord Krishna 

I believe in Lao Tzu

They all seem to share a similar intuition.

You gotta look deep inside to resolve the human condition