I got a phone call a year or so ago from a woman who hosts a website for people who use wheel chairs. She asked me if I could write a humorous article for their website. I thought that sounded like an interesting challenge so I submitted the following satire about life in 2190. The satirical piece is still available on their website, www.PeopleonWheels.org.
Welcome to www.AmbulosUnited.org. This is the website of the National Association of Ambulary-Centered People.
The purpose of the National Association of Ambulary-Centered People is to promote walking, running, jogging,...or just standing around.
The Association strives to:
• Combat the stigma associated with individual ambulation.
• Advocate for the needs of people who walk, trot, jog, or just stand around.
• Promote appropriate public access for ambulos.
• Influence legislation and government policies that discourage ambulation.
• Promote the tradition and values associated with walking and other forms of individual ambulation.
About Us
The National Association for Ambulary Centered People is a membership organization founded in 2101 to support people who rely on walking or other natural means of self-mobility. We respect the rights of members of the dominant culture who use motorized wheeled vehicles (formerly known as wheel chairs); however, we are dedicated to maintaining the tradition and constitutional rights of people who use walking or other forms of ambulation as their primary means of personal transportation.
History
In the early days of the 21st century, wheeled forms of individual transportation were used only by people with physical disabilities. By 2050 technological advancements made motorized forms of personal transport more efficient, effective, and affordable; therefore, people without physical disabilities began to adopt wheeled forms of transport.
During the later decades of the 21st century the dominant culture became increasingly reliant on television eye glasses, computerized brain implants, virtual reality applications for home offices, and many other technologies that enhanced passive methods for work and recreation. Walking or running as a means of transportation was regarded as slow, inefficient and ineffective.
Eventually the overwhelming majority of people ceased to recognize the need or lost the desire to walk, run, jog, or even to just stand around. By the early decades of the 22nd century the dominant culture relied solely on technologically enhanced means of wheeled transportation. Ambulation as a practical means of getting around became obsolete.
People who insisted on walking or using other organic forms of ambulation were viewed as anachronistic. By 2075 ninety two percent of all people who could afford wheeled transportation were using it. In many communities ambulos were ridiculed, persecuted, and denied appropriate access to public places.
The Walter M. Class Action Lawsuit.
Recently circumstances for ambulos have improved because of a landmark class action lawsuit. Three years ago the Walter M. class action lawsuit was settled on behalf of ambulos who were denied appropriate accommodations in public places. No longer can ambulos be required to stand for entire basketball games because arenas do not provide seating. Ambulos no longer have to stand at the rear of movie theaters because they do not bring their own seat. The sale of pedometers is no longer illegal. People who jog or run are now protected from harassment. Ambulo school children can no longer be required to stand all day because there are no chairs. Stand up comedians are now free to practice their craft in its original form, and they are protected from unwarranted ridicule.
What can you do?
• Teach your children to walk and to enjoy the benefits of ambulation.
• Learn about the history and tradition of running, jogging, and just standing around.
• Fight against the stigma associated with ambulation.
Bottom Line
Seriously, never forget that walking and running should be a cherished aspect of human experience. Never take walking, running, or just standing around for granted because the right to ambulate can be easily lost.
Welcome to www.AmbulosUnited.org. This is the website of the National Association of Ambulary-Centered People.
The purpose of the National Association of Ambulary-Centered People is to promote walking, running, jogging,...or just standing around.
The Association strives to:
• Combat the stigma associated with individual ambulation.
• Advocate for the needs of people who walk, trot, jog, or just stand around.
• Promote appropriate public access for ambulos.
• Influence legislation and government policies that discourage ambulation.
• Promote the tradition and values associated with walking and other forms of individual ambulation.
About Us
The National Association for Ambulary Centered People is a membership organization founded in 2101 to support people who rely on walking or other natural means of self-mobility. We respect the rights of members of the dominant culture who use motorized wheeled vehicles (formerly known as wheel chairs); however, we are dedicated to maintaining the tradition and constitutional rights of people who use walking or other forms of ambulation as their primary means of personal transportation.
History
In the early days of the 21st century, wheeled forms of individual transportation were used only by people with physical disabilities. By 2050 technological advancements made motorized forms of personal transport more efficient, effective, and affordable; therefore, people without physical disabilities began to adopt wheeled forms of transport.
During the later decades of the 21st century the dominant culture became increasingly reliant on television eye glasses, computerized brain implants, virtual reality applications for home offices, and many other technologies that enhanced passive methods for work and recreation. Walking or running as a means of transportation was regarded as slow, inefficient and ineffective.
Eventually the overwhelming majority of people ceased to recognize the need or lost the desire to walk, run, jog, or even to just stand around. By the early decades of the 22nd century the dominant culture relied solely on technologically enhanced means of wheeled transportation. Ambulation as a practical means of getting around became obsolete.
People who insisted on walking or using other organic forms of ambulation were viewed as anachronistic. By 2075 ninety two percent of all people who could afford wheeled transportation were using it. In many communities ambulos were ridiculed, persecuted, and denied appropriate access to public places.
The Walter M. Class Action Lawsuit.
Recently circumstances for ambulos have improved because of a landmark class action lawsuit. Three years ago the Walter M. class action lawsuit was settled on behalf of ambulos who were denied appropriate accommodations in public places. No longer can ambulos be required to stand for entire basketball games because arenas do not provide seating. Ambulos no longer have to stand at the rear of movie theaters because they do not bring their own seat. The sale of pedometers is no longer illegal. People who jog or run are now protected from harassment. Ambulo school children can no longer be required to stand all day because there are no chairs. Stand up comedians are now free to practice their craft in its original form, and they are protected from unwarranted ridicule.
What can you do?
• Teach your children to walk and to enjoy the benefits of ambulation.
• Learn about the history and tradition of running, jogging, and just standing around.
• Fight against the stigma associated with ambulation.
Bottom Line
Seriously, never forget that walking and running should be a cherished aspect of human experience. Never take walking, running, or just standing around for granted because the right to ambulate can be easily lost.
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