Might As Well Be Here Now

Human beings are capable of destroying the ecosystem of our entire planet - the ultimate insanity. And yet...at places like Brookgreen Gardens Human beings are capable of creating beautiful celebrations of our environment - for all of humanity.

February 2, 1923 September 30, 2019 On the drive over this morning I was talking to my wife about this eulogy and I guess she sensed a little concern on my part so she asked, “What’s the worst that can happen?” I said, “Well, I guess the worst thing is I won’t be able to finish it.” She said, “That’s not bad. It’ll be shorter.” _____________________________________________________ A few weeks ago, Carol and I were up here visiting my mother. My mother knew then that she was about to begin hospice care and that her life was close to the end. She and I had many frank conversations over the years so I felt okay asking her two questions. I asked, “What are you most afraid of and what are you most hopeful for at this stage of your life?” She didn’t respond right away but the next morning she said, “Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was thinking about those two questions. On the first one I decided…I am not afraid of anything. I used to be afraid of thin...

When Carol and I go on long road trips we seldom listen to music. We don’t even turn on the radio. We spend most of the time talking or listening to each other. The following dialog is a short portion of a conversation we had this week while driving home from Louisville. Carol: You know you will need to get a haircut before Patrick’s wedding. Michael: I know. Carol: Please, please don’t get another crappy haircut. This time it matters. You don’t want to embarrass Patrick with your usual stupid Super Cuts haircut. Michael: The Super Cuts haircuts don’t always suck. Once or twice I have come home with a Super Cut and you haven’t even noticed. Carol: In thirty-two years how often has that happened? Michael: Maybe twice…okay once. Carol: How many have sucked? How many times has your haircut been so severe that you could see white, untanned skin all around your neck? How many of your cheap haircuts have taken your head weeks to recover? Michael: Okay, that ...

Retirement is neither bad nor good. It is a blank slate. A time to reflect and look under my own hood. I guess I could just sit around and wonder what it might feel like to be ninety seven Or I could try to learn something relevant on ukulele like the Stairway to Heaven.

The lucky ones have already died. They’ve gone ahead and migrated over to the other side. They are no longer suffering  or relying on pain meds just to get by. The lucky ones have already died. They no longer have to struggle to remember answers to questions about where or why. They no longer have to search for words to help them pretend or deny. The lucky ones have already died. They’ve looked straight into their loved one's tearful eyes. They’ve taken their chances and said their goodbyes. The lucky ones have already died.

This week I reconnected with an old friend with whom I had lost contact for about 44 years. The connection was made possible through the magic of the Internet and a helpful assist from another old friend. The Internet can be extremely bad or extremely good. This time it was good. My old friend, Tom, and I were close friends when we were in our early twenties. For a while we shared a big house in the West End of Louisville with two other friends, Lloyd, and Jan. I think it was in the summer of 1973 that Tom and I took off in his brand-new car and drove across the country camping out, smoking pot, and creating funny adventures. We got separated in San Francisco (another story) but we both eventually found our way back to the big house in the West End of Louisville. Not long after we returned from our trip(s) Tom walked into my room and told me that he was gay. He looked sincere but I was skeptical. I knew Tom sometimes made quick (impulsive) decisions so I said something like, ...

Today Carol and I are celebrating our 31st anniversary. During those years, we have learned a lot about each other. We have learned to accommodate to our vastly different approaches for solving problems and making decisions. Carol has learned to adjust to my slightly causal approach to clothing management. I have learned (with frequent exceptions) to accept her need for order and predictability. The most important thing we have learned is how to function as a team. Included in that teamwork is our willingness and ability to relate to our in-laws. That capacity has developed slowly but marriage is, as they say, a marathon, not a sprint. My first attempt at building in-law relationships was a complete failure. I was unable and unwilling to accept any role within my first wife’s family. I thought they were uniquely screwed up and I wanted no part of them. I reluctantly participated in family gatherings but I tried to be invisible within the group. When my marriage ended, I was relieve...